I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
