So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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