that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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