apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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