Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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