We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
