Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
