His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
