he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
