you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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