he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
