Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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