she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
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Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize