I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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