If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
