i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
