So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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