fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
