I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
