just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
