I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There was a lot of him and a little penis
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
