He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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