I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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