dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
