I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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