Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
