i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
