So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
