im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
