When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize