What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize