And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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