That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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