his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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