Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
