if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
