I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
