FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
