Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
