Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
