Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Me too!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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