I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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