sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
