kristin has been a bad kristin
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
