its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
