So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
