Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
