I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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