You really coming over, don't trick.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
