Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize