SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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