I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
