So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
