We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
