My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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