You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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