one might say we're banned from that church
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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