gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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