I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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