I have demons in me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
