turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
