dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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