is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
