I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
