Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
