did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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