BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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